Stephen D. Black – a Junior in High School and Now

“In the picture above – it’s me as a junior in high school, sitting there with the older guy next to him is… also me—now a husband, father, pawpaw, and the author of a book called The Five Rules: Transform Your Culture for Yourself, Your Team and Your Family.”

“If I could sit at that desk and talk to that kid, I wouldn’t give him a ten-step strategic plan. I’d give him five simple rules that ended up guiding 49 years of leading teams across the country:

Do your job. Be kind. No surprises. No drama. Protect the brand.”

“Let me tell you how I’d explain those rules to him—and how they can work for you and your team.”

Rule 1 – Do your job

Story:
“I’d start with the first time I was wildly in over my head as a young leader. New title, big scope, and no manual. The thing that saved me wasn’t genius. It was showing up early, learning fast, and doing the work I’d promised to do.”

Bullets:

• “Every room you walk into, ask: what’s my job here today?”
• “Dependability beats brilliance over a career.”
• “As you grow, ‘your job’ shifts from doing tasks to removing obstacles so others can do their jobs”

Rule 2 – Be kind

Story:
“I’d tell him about two leaders I worked for. One was sharp but cutting; the other was just as demanding, but kind. Same expectations, completely different impact. Years later, when I led thousands of employees, I realized kindness wasn’t ‘nice to have’—it was a performance strategy.”

Bullets:

• “People will run through walls for a leader who is clear and kind.”
• “Kindness is not lowering the bar; it’s removing the static so people can actually hear the bar.”
• “If you can only be honest when you’re angry, you’re not leading—you’re venting.”

Rule 3 – No surprises

Story:
“I’d tell that young man about the times I let a problem sit too long, hoping it would get better. It never did. What broke trust with my leaders wasn’t the bad news; it was the surprise. Once I learned to communicate early and clearly, everything changed—up and down the chain.”

Bullets:

• “Bad news doesn’t age well. It never gets cheaper.”
• “Use a simple script: ‘Here’s what’s happening, why, my plan, and what I need from you.’”
• “Teach your teams that hiding issues is a violation of trust; surfacing them is part of the job.”

Rule 4 – No drama

Story:
“I’d remind him of some meetings where the loudest voice won and the worst ideas survived. And I’d tell him about the first time I chose to stay calm when everyone else went off the rails—and watched the room settle because I didn’t take the emotional bait.”

Bullets:

• “The calmest person in the room usually has the most influence.”
• “Unmanaged emotion is one of the most expensive costs in a business.”
• “No gossip, no venting down the chain, no character assassinations—those behaviors are culture leaks.”

Rule 5 – Protect the brand

Story:
“I’d say, ‘One day you’re going to stop seeing companies as ‘they’ and start seeing them as ‘we.’ You’ll act like your name is on the front of the building. And eventually, your name will be on the work—your coaching practice and a book called The Five Rules.’”

Bullets:

• “The brand is simply what people say about you when you’re not in the room.”
• “Protect it in three places: customer experience, employee experience, and integrity of the numbers.”
• “Your personal brand is just your behaviors over time—guard it on the easy days, not just the hard ones.”

Closing

“So what would I really be doing at that desk with my younger self? I’d be handing him a culture playbook he could actually remember. Five rules. One page. The same rules that have helped teams, families, and whole organizations reset how they live and work together.”

“And here’s the good news: you don’t need 49 years and a crisis to use them. Starting this week, pick one rule and make it visible. Talk about it in your huddles. Coach to it. Recognize it. Hold people accountable to it. Culture isn’t magic—it’s just clear expectations, lived consistently, over time.”

#WEGOTTHIS